My debut blog is all about what triggered me to create a change and live a life of freedom, abundance and purpose. It’s in two parts...
"When you seek out the things that are missing in your life, you’re sure to find them…. Or, make them happen yourself!"
At the end of 2016 I knew I wanted a change!
I knew I had to start focusing on the things that truly mattered to me, to fill my life with more joy and pursue the dreams I had. My life wasn’t bad, I was happy and content (and in part this made me feel guilty for wanting more) but I knew I wasn’t performing at my peak, I wasn’t being my best-self or achieving what was possible for me.
I was kind of just STUCK in the ‘expected’ and mundane.
I’d drafted out this idea for a business that would help social entrepreneurs. It was a combination of a research/evaluation consultancy and PR agency (neither of which I had real experience of), but more than that it would inspire the next generation of social business leaders. I had a HUGE VISION.
I couldn’t figure out how to make it profitable though (and in all honesty I was fearful of really giving it a go, I mean it was huge and probably unachievable, right?) So, the idea had got parked and I’d moved on.
But at the end of the year when I felt I needed some help to get me unstuck and decide what I needed to do next to overcome my blocks, I contacted an old colleague who had recently become a Life Coach. I was interested to know whether she was the kind of person who might be able to help. Because what I was really looking for was accountability - accountability to be my best self.
We jumped on the phone for 30 minutes and discussed how she might be able to help me and the process she usually goes through with her clients. Just in that free 30 minute chat I knew I needed to aim for more, this wasn’t just about finding my next job, or purpose even, it was about finding a new power to achieve my own unique, personal greatness.
For me this looked like…
- getting up refreshed every morning ready for a fun-packed day (there were often times where I just felt like staying under the covers and not leaving my bed, and sometimes this even happened)
- being excited about the possibilities and opportunities that were open to me (rather than frustrated that everyone else on Facebook was having much more fun than I was)
- taking on new challenges, and storming through my fears with things like learning to ski, rock-climbing, mountain biking, running a half marathon, talking to strangers and learning to network (yes random things that I wanted to overcome or achieve in my lifetime)
- pursuing new hobbies (because fundamentally I was bored!!)
- earning more money...like A LOT MORE MONEY...and soon in the next 5 years not by the time I’m retired. And, believing it was possible to earn whatever I wanted (I was earning £34k so it wasn’t like I was on the bread-line at all, and my husband was earning a good living too, so we could have just kept ticking on by, but I wanted more! Not just for the sake of having more money but because I had dreams of a bigger house for the growing family we were planning; I wanted to be able to treat my parents to a weekend away; I wanted to be able to book amazing summer holidays; and not get stressed out every time we booked ski holiday (which is one of my husbands’ passions and “necessities” every year); I wanted to purchase more thoughtfully aligned to my ethics and values and this often meant spending a bit more money than just going for the cheapest most convenient option
- spending more time with my friends and family (which really wasn’t happening enough)
- doing more things with my husband - fiancé at the time – because he worked away a lot and it was important to nurture our relationship and prioritise time with him when he was home
- living the adventurous lifestyle I dreamed of...where we climbed a mountain each week (we live on the edge of Snowdonia National Park so this is absolutely possible for us), travelled to places I’ve not yet been, try weird and wonderful things that push me beyond my comfort zone (I had all these dreams but wasn’t really living any of them because I was stuck in the hamster wheel of life, daydreaming but not taking action or not able to see how I would be able to save enough to ever do all the things I dreamt of)
- giving back to my local community; having a significant impact on the world and developing my own voice and perspective
- reading more, dancing more, listening to music, learning more about music, singing in a choir again, building an amazing group of friends which inspire, challenge and support me
- AND….going to bed at the end of each day, exhausted but satisfied that I’d lived my best life that day, with a feeling of fulfilment and abundance!
This was a lot of change, right?
And it felt quite overwhelming to achieve. Where would I start?
Wouldn’t it be easier to just carry on as I was? And like I said, my life wasn’t that bad…at all. Was I being selfish to even what all these things?
….I mean I had a good job, which allowed me to work from home, with a good salary (and it wasn’t stressful); I’d found the love of my life and we were planning our wedding for 2017; I had an amazing family who I’d moved back to North Wales to be closer to; we owned our own home in a beautiful part of the world; I had a great group of friends (they were scattered all over the country and I barely ever saw them but they were there).
But I had this this niggling fear. What if this was it! What if this was all my life was going to be? Surely there had to be more?
I realise now this can’t be an uncommon thought for thirty somethings. I’d breezed through my twenties, working my way up a career ladder I completely controlled myself and had amazing opportunities, and lived a great life (working through the week, going out at the weekend, socialising with friends and family, having holidays twice a year, all those great things!) Yet, although I never thought of myself in this way, I had done exactly what I was supposed to do, and was expected of me, or what I’d expected of myself….I’d followed my heart and gut instinct during this time…. But I still felt unsatisfied, unfulfilled and wanting more. I didn’t regret anything I just started thinking about the future.
I’d still got to my early thirties and felt stuck, unsure of what to do next, not knowing how I was supposed to spend the next 30, 50, maybe even 70 years of my life!
I kept thinking about my 7, 12 and 15-year old self, and her dreams and desires. How, at that age, the whole world was one endless possibility of adventure… and I seriously felt like I’d FAILED. Failed to achieve the greatness that was available to me. Failed to pursue all my dreams. Failed to be my true self.
And then….I stumbled across this coach….Sarah King! It was very clever marketing on her part, as her advert popped up in my Facebook feed but to me it felt like serendipity. Like it was meant to be, and the stars had aligned to help me get through the bull-shit and create the life I truly desired….one of freedom, abundance and purpose.
Her Ad led me to an opt-in and then an email funnel and within the week I was hooked. By the end of the year I had purchased her group coaching programme (on a 12-month payment plan – it was a huge commitment – especially as I was supposed to be saving for a wedding and honeymoon)! But I dived right in, knowing that this was the only way to create this shift, to get the accountability and support I needed. Plus, the financial commitment meant I would have to make it happen.
Giving up was not an option.
And that was it. I started on the journey to creating Share Impact; pursuing a life of purpose; being my best self; and not standing for a mediocre life.
Read part 2, about how you can take action on your own dreams, WHATEVER they are, and be your “best self”, regardless of where you are now.